The much-needed closure at the bowling alley.- The crucial role timing plays in a relationship
A few days back when I was sitting by the bowling alley a group of friends entered to have fun and play the game. After a while, a phone rang with the typical default iPhone ringtone, a guy from the group excused himself to the side and answered the call. Me being just a few feet away overheard the conversation. By listening to the guy’s responses I could guess most of the discussion and the situation.
Guy: “Hey, actually I am out with my friends right now. Is it something urgent you want to talk about?”(Trying to end the conversation and go back to his friends)
Girl: “Yes I am ready to date you”(Or something similar to that)
Guy: “Wait, what are you talking about?”
Girl: “You asked me out. So I am just saying ‘yes’ ”(Most probably these were the exact words)
Guy: “I know I had asked you out but that was almost more than a month ago! Why are you coming back now? I no longer feel the same for you”
Girl: “Wow. So you were just playing with my feelings or was it one of those insensitive bets with your friend”
Guy: “No one was playing with your feelings. I didn’t want to argue but now as you are using words like ‘playing with your feelings’ and ‘insensitive bets’ let me make it very clear, I used to like you a lot and knew that you liked me as well and that’s the reason that day I asked you out! and made it very clear that whatever your answer is do let me know. You said you needed time to think but from the next day onwards till the next week you never answered my question but instead kept on the fun friendly conversation and not a word about answering the question”
Girl: “I was still thinking about whether I actually want a relationship”
Guy: “Well you took too much time to think about what you want. After I didn’t get a response, I accepted that either your answer is No and you didn’t want to hurt me by saying that or you are weighing other options. It took me some time but I have gotten over it now. Please don’t make it more difficult than it actually is, even the strongest feelings disappear when taken for granted. So please don’t contact me from now onwards”
Girl: “Can we at least stay friends?”
Guy: “No thanks, I already have plenty of friends and they are waiting for me” (Disconnects the call)
The guy went back into the alley and sat in the corner trying to recover from the healed wound that was just scratched.
So we know that timing played a crucial role here, if the girl had answered at the right time she would have entered a relationship with the guy she liked and I am sure it would be all roses.
But what do you think?
1. Did they get the closure needed?
2. Was the girl searching for a better option and when she couldn’t find she came back?
3. Girl was new to such a situation (never been in a relationship) and was not able to take the decision on time.
4. Was it wrong for the guy to not wait and assume things?
5. Did the guy get a better option during that time and took the girl’s delay in response as a reason to step back from the relationship?
All of us might answer these questions on the basis of our own life experiences and biases.
But the thing we all would agree is has they clearly communicated their confusion and feelings it would have surely ended in a different way, maybe it would have been the start of something beautiful.
Thanks for reading and I really appreciate you giving your time to read this article. Please do comment your opinions and suggestions so that I can improve in the next articles.
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