They start missing you when they fail to replace you.

A stage that every relationship goes through.

Source: https://inspiringtips.com/

Let’s say there are two people who share a great relationship. This relationship can be a friendship, a romantic one, a professional one, etc. Everything is going well, like picture-perfect, and then comes the point when either one of them or both slowly withdraw themself from the relationship. If you are a social person you might have experienced this at least once if not more.

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So what makes people pull away from the person they once cared a lot for? One might list down 2–3 points and if one is frustrated enough at the point then the list can be pages and pages long. But if one introspects it all boils down to one’s own expectations for that person.
As it’s rightly said, “When you have expectations, you are setting yourself up for disappointment”. So when a person deviated even slightly from our expectations we are disappointed by them. It’s a natural human tendency to make assumptions about everything because it’s hardwired into our brains. That’s how our ancestors survived in the wild. These assumptions when associated with a person over time become expectations. When some of these expectations are met by that person our belief strengthens and we develop further expectations, this cycle goes on like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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This feedback loop is broken when the other person deviates from the other person’s expectations. In such cases, some might get upset from this and distance themselves from the other person while others might try to enforce that expectations and make the other person act as per their expectations, which makes them come off as controlling and might scare off the other person.

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The result of both responses is the two people move away from each other. Sadly our generation has normalized cutting people off too quickly instead of talking and working things out. So here comes the phase when these two people don’t talk to each other. They might be of the following view.
1. “It was so wrong for him/her to do this to me”
2. “He/She hurt me so much”
3. “If I don’t talk for a while he/she will realize his/her mistake and If he/she doesn’t he/she was not the last person on earth. I’ll find someone better than him/her. I am not dying without him/her”
4. “If he/she is not bothered to talk to me why should I?”
5. “Why should I be the one to initiate the conversation all the time?”

Source: https://www.powerofpositivity.com/

There may be two outcomes to this,
1. One or both of them move on with their lives and it is the end of something that could be a very beautiful thing if at least one of them had taken a different approach in dealing with this situation. As in history, we have witnessed that some of the great relationships often go through the worst scenarios and grow stronger than ever. But as it is said “Effort is a two-way thing” Let’s not go into this any further in this article.
2. One or both of them starts missing the other.

So why do we start missing people?
There may be many reasons:

1. When someone realizes that they cannot find a replacement for you, they start to miss you and the unique qualities you brought to the relationship or situation.
2. The absence of your presence may make them realize the value of what they had with you.
3. The memories of the good times and shared experiences may make them miss you.
4. They may come to understand that the grass is not always greener on the other side and that you were the best option for them all along.
5. They may start to regret letting you go and start to miss the connection and intimacy that you shared.
6. They may start to miss the emotional support and understanding that you provided.
7. They may start to miss the way you made them feel, whether it was special, loved, or valued.
8. They may start to miss the way you challenge them or help them grow as a person.
9. They may start to miss the way you complimented them and how well you fit together.
10. They may start to miss the way you made them feel comfortable and secure.

Source: https://c8.alamy.com/

So to conclude by the thought “Not every answer you seek can be found on Google some can be found in the conversations you’ve been avoiding for so long either with a person or with yourself”

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